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While there are many untold upsides to being in a long-distance relationship, like the ability to choose where you live and have a place to yourself, one challenge that comes with the territory is maintaining your sex life when you and your partner are apart.
Fortunately, thanks largely to technology, physical distance doesn't have to make you sexually distant. So, if you aren't currently near each other, for any reason, rest assured there are ways to remain close. In fact, it might even make it stronger, Hodder says, because you have to work extra hard to stay connected. So, don't let distance get in the way. Second, it can provide needed stress relief to help with the difficulties that can occur during physical separation. Fortunately for couples in LDRs, you don't have to be in the same room to sexually stimulate each other.
How do you accomplish that with miles between you? Through teledildonic toys, of course. OH Panty Vibe , and Fuse can all be controlled remotely via an app. We-Vibe's Sync also connects to an app that lets you and your partner video chat, so you can experience sex with all your senses. What's just as hot as or even hotter than looking into each other's eyes during sex? Watching each other masturbate. And this activity can be enjoyed whether you're geographically close or far apart. If you're shy about being naked on video, Astroglide's resident sexologist Dr.
Jess O'Reilly suggests filming yourself in the dark or just recording your voice. Catch your partner off guard by leaving a pair of underwear, your ature perfume, or a dirty love note at their place as you depart, Dr. Jess says. That way, they'll be able to enjoy your company even in your absence. Couples' apps like Couple , We Did It , and Happy Couple help couples stay connected and get to know each other long-distance, and more R-rated ones like Desire help keep the spark alive. Jess recommends InTheMood for couples who want to flirt and communicate their desires across long distances.
Instead of searching erotica sites for masturbation material, how about creating your own that both of you can enjoy? It might even give you inspiration for when you're back together. Hodder suggests sending your stories to each other over snail mail if you want them to feel extra personalized. Using a different app than your usual messaging app can be a way to make things feel new. Mutual masturbation has lots of benefits , like teaching each other what you like and enjoying sexual intimacy. And the best part is, apps like Zoom, Skype, or Google Hangouts let you do it from anywhere.
And, of course, don't focus just on the sex. If it's been a minute since you picked up the phone and gave each other a call, why not start there — and then see if it turns into phone sex. When you think about it, the sound of your partner's voice can actually be quite the turn-on. And yet it's often missing from everyday sexting. Plus, "this can help you appreciate your partner for their words rather than physical traits," Bennett says, which will help you feel closer than ever. If you're separated by distance, Bennett says, you may want to brighten each other's day by sending a few steamy photos via , as a form of foreplay and teasing for real-life activities to come.
Make sure it isn't anything too revealing leave your face out of the photos, for instance but show each other just enough to pique your interest. You could even pop other surprises into the actual mail, including sultry gifts for one another. See if your partner would be OK with receiving a kinky gift from a sex shop, for instance, and promise to use it the moment you're reunited. Just like WhatsApp, Skype allows you to do an easy video call any time you want.
Consider turning off the lights, if you're feeling shy, or angling the camera away from you to start. Or, if hate the idea of doing anything too sexy on camera, remember there are benefits to be had by simply look into each other's eyes.
Corey Jamison , a psychologist, tells Bustle. Get to know each other's bodies in an intimate way by purposefully taking time to "explore" while on Skype, Dr. Fran Walfish , a sex and relationship therapist, tells Bustle. All you need to do to begin the process is to turn on your camera, disrobe, and start talking. While sexy conversations can certainly be meaningful, don't forget to have discussions about your hopes, fears, and disappointments, too. Many times being vulnerable with someone, Walfish says, can lead to even better physical intimacy.
Even though you aren't physically there to see each other, it doesn't mean you can't feel sexy in your finest lingerie. You could even use your current privacy to wear lingerie you may not otherwise feel comfortable wearing in person, Elisabeth Goldberg, LMFT , a relationship therapist, tells Bustle. From there, try masturbating at the same time, she says, or experiment with brainstorming new ideas for sexual fantasies, like talking dirty, using sex talks, etc.
While there are plenty of ways to have fun from afar, you can also use the time spent apart to very sexily plan what you'd like to do once you can meet up again. As Goldberg says, "Long distance allows couples the opportunity to talk about sex in a way they may be too shy or embarrassed to discuss in person. Use this to your advantage by discussing fantasies, how your sex life is going thus far, and any changes you'd like to make. Anne Hodder , sex educator. Jonathan Bennett , certified counselor and dating expert with Double Trust Dating.
Jess O'Reilly , Astroglide's resident sexologist. Corey Jamison , psychologist. Fran Walfish , sex and relationship therapist. By Suzannah Weiss and Carolyn Steber. Updated: March 23, Originally Published: Dec. Jess O'Reilly , Astroglide's resident sexologist Dr. Corey Jamison , psychologist Dr.Find sex partner Miles
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