Need more mommy friends

Added: Teosha Deel - Date: 19.03.2022 00:13 - Views: 34028 - Clicks: 1467

Keith Campbell note that parents contribute to the problem when they try to befriend their kids. Other researchers point to the costs of treating children as confidants. Kids may get stressed out by negative personal confessions. For example, when researchers interviewed the adolescent daughters of divorce, they found that girls were more likely to experience psychological distress if their mothers made detailed disclosures to them about their financial worries, employment hassles, personal problems, and negative feelings about their ex-husbands Koerner et al So is friendship between parent and child a bad thing?

Neither partner exercises any authority over the other. There is also evidence linking permissive parenting with the development of poor self-control. For example, a study of African-American adolescents asked kids to consider a series of hypothetical situations that involved disappointment and conflict. The kids who characterized their parents as more permissive were also more likely to say that they would respond violently to situations of conflict Miller In the study mentioned above, more detailed disclosures from moms were not linked with greater feelings of closeness in their daughters Koerner et al In a recent study of Dutch adolescents, researchers found that kids who reported sharing secrets with their parents had higher-quality relationships and lower rates of deliquency Frijns et al Parents can build close, personal relationships with their kids and still remain responsible adults.

Not every friendship is based on sharing equal status. Consider the parent who enforces limits and avoids worrying her kids with detailed s of her adult personal problems. But she might also see herself as a friend because she and her kids share a sense of mutual loyalty, trust, and respect.

Both parties respect each other. They care about and trust each other. But there are constraints. The dominant party has to keep some information to himself. And there are times when the dominant party must exercise his authority. Is it worth it? I suppose it depends on your personal characteristics and cultural beliefs. But studies on Western kids are generally supportive of the rational, friendly, authoritative approach to parenting.

None of this evidence is conclusive. Moreover, these studies focus on kids living in Western societies. Peer referencing in adolescent decision making as a function of perceived parenting style. Adolescence 38 Parental monitoring, negotiated unsupervised time, and parental trust: the role of perceived parenting practices in adolescent health risk behaviors.

J Adolesc Health 33 2 Dev Psychol. The protective effects of good parenting on adolescents. Curr Opin Pediatr. Shared secrets versus secrets kept private are linked to better adolescent adjustment. J Adolesc. J Abnorm Child Psychol. Journal of Child and Family Studies 11 4 : J Adolesc Health. Stattin H. Friendships with authority figures: Warmth, trust, companionship…and limits Consider the parent who enforces limits and avoids worrying her kids with detailed s of her adult personal problems. She is first and foremost a mother to her kids. In addition… She treats her children as individuals with minds of their own.

She talks with her kids about their thoughts, hopes, ideas, and feelings. Is this really friendship? Inductive discipline explaining the reasons for rules and the social, moral consequences of bad behavior is linked with more self-control, less aggression, and more mature moral reasoning Krevans and Gibb ; Kerr et al ; Choe Friendly, rational, responsive parents may have more moral influence over their teenagers.

In one study, American college students were given hypothetical moral decisions and asked how they would tackle them. Students raised by authoritative parents were more likely than other kids to reference their parents—not their peers—in decision making about moral issues Bednar and Fisher Close parent-child relationships built on trust and open communication may protect adolescents from dangerous behavior.

In a study of American 9th and 10th graders, researchers found teens were more likely to engage in sexual activity if they were unsupervised. But friendly parent-child relationships were important, too. Girls who perceived their parents as trusting were less likely to engage in sexual activity, tobacco, and marijuana use.

Boys who perceived their parents as more trusting were less likely to use alcohol Borawski et al Other, similar studies support these findings Stattin ; DeVore and Ginsburg References: Should parents be friends with their kids?

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