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W hile 50 Shades of Grey has brought BDSM into the mainstream, many couples regularly practice the lifestyle, which refers to sex practices including domination, bondage and sadomasochism. But is it healthy to add a little spanking and submission into your sex life? Jones said. They have the same concerns. But I also help vanilla couples introduce BDSM into their relationships, sometimes, in a bid to save their unions. I recently had a couple come in recently and the wife was in tears. They had been married for about ten years. So I met with them individually and found that their relationship was a total power struggle.
He was totally dominating her in the relationship. And it totally saved their marriage. I often prescribe BDSM for power struggles or control issues. Or, if one partner had a bad sexual experience in the past, I prescribe it as a way to give that partner back some feeling of control.
I would check those out and do some research. I also frequently refer my clients to doms, and let the doms show them the safe way to play. You can have a session with a dom, who will demonstrate the ropes and different types of exercises you can do in the bedroom.
People think it equals pain. But, in reality, BDSM covers everything from playful role-playing to spanking to tying up your partner and teasing them with a feather. You can always just dip your toe in — and that will still add a level of erotic energy to sex play with your partner. BDSM play is always consensual. No questions asked. They also are supposed to talk beforehand. Or if you feel comfortable enough, I would just talk to your partner — and recommend starting out small. I think sex therapists are incredibly helpful.
They can really help you get off to a good start. Some of my more mature couples initially giggle when I give them BDSM exercises to do, but when they report back to me, they love the experience. They say they felt like they were in high school again. You and your partner can totally transform your relationship. Write to Samantha Cooney at samantha. By Samantha Cooney. Related Stories. Already a print subscriber?
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